~ The Lovezone with Geena Lee ~ Episode 38: Take It Slow
Sometimes when you’ve been single and looking for a long while, it can be a bit of a surprise when all of a sudden, a potential partner appears; full of passion and desire to start something with you, right now.
After trudging through the desert of loneliness, here comes this beautiful oasis of love, inspiring the temptation to just go full steam ahead and dive right in. I totally understand that urge, none of us are immune to it, but I’d like to caution you to just wait a bit longer before you enter; see if that oasis is for real or just a mirage. Now I’m not encouraging you to be mistrustful or negative when you meet somebody new, just to take it slow enough to get a better evaluation of who they are and whether you are compatible beyond chemistry.
We live in a ‘give it to me now’ society; where instant gratification is expected, heck, it’s demanded. So it goes a bit against the grain when you prefer to take a laid-back approach when getting to know a romantic candidate. The person may think you’re not that into them since your eagerness doesn’t match theirs, they may even step it up in the pursuit to win you over; trying even harder to get your approval and commitment. That will apply even more pressure for you to make a decision. The thing is, for those of us looking for a serious relationship, we don’t need the song and dance, we need to see the walk and the talk, and that will take the time it needs to take.
You may have thoughts of guilt when applying the brakes on another’s forward motion into your life. After all here’s someone who’s interested in you, and you like them too, you’re just not keen on jumping in bed right away and sharing closet space just yet. That’s absolutely normal, and you shouldn’t feel mean about it.
I think it’s rare to find two people who’ve fallen in love at the same time with the same intensity. Everyone has to go at a pace that’s comfortable for them. No doubt our past experience with heartbreak will influence that, but as long as you’re willing to explore new possibilities, it’s absolutely in your right to be cautious. If you’re feeling rushed into a relationship, don’t allow that fear of ‘missing out on a good thing’ force you to disregard your first instinct. Take the time that’s right for you to feel secure.
Now I say this a lot, but it’s true – communication is key. If you’re dating someone who keeps hitting the fast-forward button, let them know that you prefer to just take things mid-tempo, so that you can savour the experience of getting to know them. I’ll also give you one warning: it’s important that you don’t sleep with them in the beginning stages, ‘cause that’ll throw things into a whole other level of complication. Getting intimate off the bat can cloud your judgment, and will create a lot of mixed signals. So it’s best to leave that till later, if things are going in the right direction, you’ll get there eventually. If the person you’re dealing with can’t accept that, then well maybe their priorities are not aligned with yours.
Love is not something that can be rushed, nor should it be; when it’s allowed to bloom in its own time, a much richer experience develops. So don’t rush and don’t worry, when you’re ready to take that step, you’ll know it.
Take It Slow
Leon Haywood – Don’t Push It, Don’t Force It
Stephanie Mills – (You’re Puttin’) A Rush On Me
Eric Roberson – Hesitation
Ledisi – Get To Know You
4Hero ft. Jack Davey – Take My Time
The Braxtons – Slow Flow
Jazz Liberatorz – Slow Down
Alicia Keys – Slow Down
Faith Evans – Catching Feelings
Rahsaan Patterson – Can’t We Wait
Mary J. Blige – Slow Down
Zapp & Roger – Slow & Easy
Changing Faces – Take It Slow
Janet Jackson – Let’s Wait Awhile
Bobby Brown – Take It Slow
Alicia Myers – If You Play Your Cards Right
Teddy Pendergrass – Be Sure
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