~ The Lovezone with Geena Lee ~ Episode 40: A Fool For Love
We’re often our own harshest critics. How many times have you called yourself stupid? Nobody can beat you up better than you can; especially when it comes to relationships gone wrong. After the break-up, you’re sitting there with all the ‘coulda woulda shoulda’s swirling within your mind, each one giving a vicious slap to your self-esteem. When things don’t turn out the way you thought they would, and the one you thought was the one is well, not the one, it can make you feel kind of dumb. Even if you were the one who broke it off, you can still feel embarrassed that you even made a decision to be in that relationship in the first place; look how it turned out, what were you thinking? Even when we are blindsided by a betrayal, we still feel stupid. ‘Why didn’t I know? This person made a fool of me!’
These torturous thoughts are debilitating and dangerous, for they can send you spiralling into a depression that can be very difficult to get out of. You can get trapped in memories of what went wrong and when, putting together a case of prosecution against yourself. Trust me; I know what I’m talking about. I’m as analytical as they come; I go over every word, every action…in every detail. I place such a high standard on myself that when things don’t go well, I immediately scrutinize myself to see what I did wrong, what I could have done better. But if I catch myself starting to feel stupid, I pull back by reminding myself that I’m not stupid, I’m a student. There was a lesson to be learned in the experience, no matter how painful or enraging it was.
Are you a quick learner when it comes to love? Or do you keep repeating the same lesson over and over again? It’s okay if you don’t get it the first time, a willing student can never be called stupid, because by being willing to learn, that’s the smartest thing you can do, no matter how many times you seem to fail. The key is to be compassionate with ourselves, we’re learning! Do you call a baby who doesn’t know how to walk yet, stupid? No, because they’re learning! We are all learning our love lessons, some have it harder than others, but we all deserve a gold star for trying. It isn’t exactly a science, this love thing. There’s no one right or wrong way to go about it; the love experience is as varied as the people who decide to be a part of it.
If you’ve been burned by the proverbial flame of love, don’t punish yourself for diving into the fire, or else those scars won’t heal, and guess what, you’ll keep getting burned until you learn that lesson. So how do you learn a lesson? You get in the right frame of mind, one free of self-judgement and criticism. We all become vulnerable when we step into love, and are prone to doing some pretty silly things when under its spell, so don’t be too hard on yourself for it. After all, that’s why they say only fools fall in love!
A Fool For Love
Jully Black – Seven Day Fool
Frankie Lymon & The Teenagers – Why Do Fools Fall In Love
Tina Turner – A Fool In Love
Aretha Franklin – Chain Of Fools
Barbara Acklin – Fool, Fool, Fool
The Main Ingredient – Everybody Plays The Fool
The Delfonics – Trying To Make A Fool Of Me
Stevie Wonder – A Fool For You
Valerie Simpson – Silly, Wasn’t I
The Spinners – (It Takes A Fool To Learn) Love Don’t Love Nobody
Denise Williams – Silly
Will Downing – Statue Of A Fool
Wild Orchid – I Won’t Play The Fool
Luther Vandross – Don’t Want To Be A Fool
H-Town – Special Kinda Fool
Me’Shell NdegeOcello – Fool Of Me
Alicia Keys ft. John Mayer – Lesson Learned
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