~ The Lovezone with Geena Lee ~ Episode 43: Jealousy

The best way to get rid of jealousy is to get to the root of why you feel the way you do.  What are the triggers? Identify and nullify them. Let’s go back to the example of the ex.  Say your partner still talks to their ex, and that makes you uncomfortable.  You need to communicate that to them and find a solution.  If it’s not possible for them to stop talking to their ex, say because they have a child with them, then they need to be open with you about the nature of their contact.  If you know exactly what they’re talking about, (speakerphone is great for this) then you don’t have to entertain any jealous thoughts based on assumptions.  I know of couples who give each other the passwords to their phone, email, Facebook and Twitter accounts, so there is complete transparency. Not everyone would feel comfortable doing this, but it’s an option in the quest to build trust.

Don’t feed the green-eyed monster, it will devour you eventually.  However, when it starts to lash its tail, don’t ignore it either.  If you find yourself getting jealous often in your relationship, it could be because there is something your partner is doing to put you in a position of insecurity.  Some people like to use that emotion as a way of manipulation in order to keep a person attached to them. It’s an unhealthy way to orchestrate a relationship, and it’s bound to backfire eventually.

And you know what, maybe there is a reason to be suspicious! You really have to look at everything with a clear vision and evaluate whether you are just being too paranoid or if there’s a more sinister situation at play.  Trust your instincts, and if you have levelheaded friends, see if you can get an objective perspective.  Also, let your partner know how you’re feeling, because if someone loves you, they will do all they can to make sure you feel secure in that love.  We all come with a history and past hurts, so what may seem innocent to them, may be a red flag to you, so you have to find a common ground that you can both stand on.  Jealousy is a seed that you don’t want to water in a relationship, it’ll become a weed that will choke the life out of anything you grow together, so the minute you see it sprout, pluck it out!

Jealousy
(download mix here)

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Geena Lee
Lovesoul Studio
Toronto, Canada