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~ The Lovezone with Geena Lee ~ Episode 51: Believe In Love

08 February 2011no comments Love Lessons, Music Mix, Neo Soul, R&B, Slow Jams, Soul

Sometimes I wonder if I’m naïve when it comes to love. All the advice I give, and hope I have, the belief I have in love…are they just the romantic musings of someone who’s seen too many rom-coms and read too many novels with happily-ever-after endings? As I write words of faith and trust, of working to make relationships work, a little bitter voice cackles in the far reaches of my mind, asking, “Do you really believe in all that you say? Is there really such a thing as happily ever after?”When I witness the pain some of my friends have gone through in the name of love – lies, abuse, neglect; even when I recall my own horror stories…what the heck do I have to be so enthusiastic about? Am I leading folks astray by saying finding ‘the one’, and keeping them, can be done? Is there a reality I’m not aware of, in which love does not conquer all?

When you’re not sure of the direction you’re going in, whether you’re suited for the path you have taken in life, I’ve found the best way to get perspective is to imagine yourself at the extreme opposite of your current position. So at this point of feeling self-doubt, I’ve decided to entertain for a moment how my life would be if I dropped my rose-coloured glasses and took everything with quite a few grains of salt.

First, I would stop believing in the concept of love, and view relationship partners as nothing more than parasites. I would keep to myself, never going on dates or engaging in any interaction that was not strictly platonic. I would keep my heart fiercely guarded, never letting anyone in. To do that effectively I would have to make sure I didn’t share anything remotely personal or emotional, as that would make me vulnerable. No one could hurt me, take advantage of me, fool me. I’d be wise now, because after all, love is just a myth, a flower that fails to bloom. Since I’d no longer believe in love and the possibility of sharing my life with a so-called soulmate, I would just focus on the more intellectual aspects of life. Living in my head, not my heart.

Sheesh. I don’t want to live like that. But you know what? A lot of us have decided to. We’ve given up. We’ve seen and experienced too many love gone wrong stories to believe in love ever going right. We’ve withdrawn from the dance because we’re tired of having our feet stepped on. But as you sit on the sidelines, does that make you feel better? Safer? It may at first, but not for long. It’s okay to take a break from the love arena when your heart gets weary; it’s important to have that time to reflect and recharge, but to forgo love altogether is to deny yourself an important element of life itself.

You can’t love only yourself and not anyone else, just as you can’t love anyone else without loving yourself. You’ll only stunt your own growth if you disrupt the balance of that equation. One builds on the other, and to build anything, takes work. You just can’t escape it. And it’s not meant to be all heartache, or else what’s the point. Everyone deserves to love, and to be loved.

I am by no means a therapist, an expert or guru; just a woman who’s not afraid to love or to believe in the power that love has to transform and enrich lives. A big part of experiencing love is believing in it, and if you have people in your life who believe in it too, then that’s enough to keep you from being totally jaded and bitter. My life is so much better when there’s love in it; and even though there are times when I feel frustrated and pessimistic about relationships, I couldn’t see myself being able to live with the alternative. So if believing in love is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Love,
Geena

Believe In Love

The Lovezone with Geena Lee: Episode 51 ~ Believe In Love by GeenaLee on House-Mixes.com

Amy Winehouse – Love Is A Losing Game
Lauryn Hill – When It Hurts So Bad
Dru Hill – We’re Not Making Love No More
Sade – Somebody Already Broke My Heart
Luther Vandross – Nobody To Love
Beyonce – Me, Myself & I
Anthony Hamilton – Never Love Again
Kelly Price – Tired
Peter Brown – Without Love
Ledisi – I Need Love
Jill Scott – Wanna Be Loved
Shalamar – Somewhere There’s A Love
Musiq Soulchild – Love
Alicia Keys – The Thing About Love
Stephanie Mills – I’ve Learned To Respect The Power of Love
Stevie Wonder – I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)
YahZarah – Love Come Save The Day
Solomon Burke – Everybody Needs Somebody To Love

———————–
Geena Lee
Lovesoul Studio
Toronto, Canada

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